The Clone Saga – Tears of a Clone

May 2010:

Fuck yeah!

Today was the day. Today that clone was getting what was coming to it…

Just hours after the medical intervention that separated us (see last instalment), probably saving my life, following the “indiscretion” I resolved to put right that which I should have many years before.

I decided that I had to bring an end to the clone…an end to the abomination created solely to prevent me spending money on overly expensive photo manipulation software.

Photoshop - Use this if you don't have the smarts to make your own clone

Yes, at the time of creation of the clone, I viewed it as a wonder. A breakthrough of scientific barriers to equate to that of Hawking or Schrödinger. Alas, now, as I think on past events involving the doppelgänger, I can see that I should have ended its pitiful life as soon as I had completed that first photograph (see “The Clone Saga – Beginnings“).

Stephen Hawking. A genius but, as you can see in this photo, a bit of a square.

Now, however, was a time for action. All thoughts of “should have done” and “would have done” were cast from my mind and I prepared myself for the final battle.

I called to the duplicate, asking it to come up to my bedroom. I hoped that if I indicated I wanted more…I shudder now just thinking of it… more “contact“, then I would gain the advantage of surprise and could probably bring the messy business of murder to a relatively speedy conclusion but it was not to be.

Erwin Schrödinger. The man who invented the Zombie Cat.

My well conceived plan turned to mush as my overachieving genius brain pushed in to ponder the question:

“If I murder my clone am I committing suicide?”

The question drew my attention away from the slowly opening bedroom door and the clone, making a sultry entrance into the room.

The clone stopped, dead in its tracks, as it saw me crouched behind the now open door, staring wide eyed into space as I wrestled with the answer to what I considered at the time to be the ultimate question.

Without warning the clone pounced on me. At first I thought it was making the first move in an overtly aggressive sexual adventure but the muscular fingers closing around my neck shook me fully from my considerings and spurred me into action. The endgame was in motion.

Finger biceps. Why not?

We grappled and wrestled, wrangled and wangled until the copy bundled me to the ground and reached out for the two swords, that I had planned to use to end its life, I had left behind the bedroom door.

I remained still as he approached, blades in hand and murder (or possibly suicide) in his eye.

Malclone prepared to strike. I watched the two blades arc down towards me…

…and that’s when I pulled a Ryback!

Grabbing the pommel of the sword in the doppelgängers left hand I put just enough pressure on to force the blade to the side effectively parrying the killing blow from the cutlass in his right hand. At the same time I twisted his left wrist and, while rising form the floor, completed the Ryback transferring the sabre into my own hands.

The clashing of blades upon my intial blocking move caused the clone to recoil, pulling back the remaining sword in an upward arc exposing his torso to attack.

I thrust and the blade slid home, up and under the rib cage, perforating the diaphragm and plunging directly into his heart.

In deep. But not yet deep enough!

The clone spasmed, sword falling to the ground and, after mere moments, passed into death.

I withdrew the blade and watched as the body of the clone collapsed to the ground.

I breathed a sigh of relief and exhaustion. I stared at the corpse for a few moments and exhaled again.

The battle was over, let the clean up commence….





[Stay tuned all this week for the body disposing conclusion: “The Clone Saga – They Think It’s All Over”]


One response to “The Clone Saga – Tears of a Clone

  1. Hahahaha. You made me laugh you Scottish cunt.

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